Well Christmas came early! A new episode is finally here and it’s full of cringe!
A Very Tanner Christmas is everything you’d expect from this iconic 90s sitcom.
It has spoiled kids who need discipline, Joey being extremely weird, and DJ throwing a tantrum… We get to spread all of the holiday cheer on this one.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/slash_vision_/?hl=en
Email: Slashvisionpodcast@yahoo.com
Well Christmas came early! A new episode is finally here and it’s full of cringe!
A Very Tanner Christmas is everything you’d expect from this iconic 90s sitcom.
It has spoiled kids who need discipline, Joey being extremely weird, and DJ throwing a tantrum… We get to spread all of the holiday cheer on this one.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/slash_vision_/?hl=en
Email: Slashvisionpodcast@yahoo.com
Well, everyone, the time is here. I have finally returned. I took a little bit of an unintentional break and, uh, tried out some new stuff. Uh, the new stuff is gonna probably still be happening somewhere down the line, but you know, this break, it kind of recharged me a little bit. Uh, Jose, I wanted to take a couple weeks off from releasing an episode. And just like any diet out there, you're going strong for a little bit. You fall off the wagon, take a little bit of a break, and then it turns into a six month binge. And this is exactly where I'm at. And originally I wanted to release new episodes in January, but the holiday season hit and, uh, what podcast wouldn't be complete without the old cliche Christmas episodes? And today is no different. We're gonna be talking a Christmas episode from 1992 from one of my favorite sitcoms from the nineties, the Cringe Fest. They call Full House
Speaker 2:ABC Tuesday. They're getting ready for Santa. But who's the real Saint Nick? This
Speaker 3:Thing is outta Key Soul
Speaker 4:Full House,
Speaker 1:A very Tanner Christmas debuted on December 15th, 1992, just about 30 years ago. If that doesn't give you a gray hair wherever you grow them, I don't know what will, because, uh, I remember watching this episode as it actually premiered, and this makes me feel just as about as old as anyone can ever think. And just like every full house episode, you know, the sad music plays, there's a little bit of drama, a whole lot of cringe, and, uh, you know, just it's cliche, it's full house. I mean, what else do you expect? And just like this podcast, nothing in this episode really flows together,<laugh>. It really doesn't. There's so many different storylines. I don't know how they were able to fit everything within 20 something minutes, because at one point you have the beautiful goddess herself at Becky. And, uh, just to throw that out there and, uh, address the elephant in the room, she, uh, you know, she had a little bit of controversy a couple years back because she paid for her kids to get in the college, and everybody was so up in arms. They even removed her from the Fuller House episodes, gave her some sort of stupid exit from the show where she cheated on on Jessie, which is just so stupid. And everybody was so upset because she paid for her kids to get in school. Once again, I'm repeating myself here with that because everybody thought that they were better than her. Everyone was a saint online. Everyone in the comments section kept saying, oh my God, God, how dare she do that? How dare she abuse her money and power like that? First of all, if you were rich and your kids were idiots and you wanted them to get into school so they don't have to depend on you, well guess what? You'd have done the same thing. Stop acting like you are some sort of saint online just because you don't agree with whatever it is the article is about. And think about this, A lot of people that were trying to, to enroll in that school were upset. They took my spot. They took my spot. How dare they? I worked hard to try to get accepted, and I got denied. Well, guess what? She didn't enroll 300 freaking students. It was just two kids, two of her own children. She enrolled if two spots. Actually, if you think that two spots hurt your chances of being in that school, maybe you just weren't smart enough to get in there in the first place and you didn't have the money to get in. I'm just gonna keep on rambling on here because obviously I had no school in that home.
Speaker 5:Well pin a rose on your nose,
Speaker 1:<laugh> and Becky is, uh, complaining because there's no snow happening. There's no snow falling in San Francisco, just like, uh, back at home in Nebraska where you came from. And another part of the episode is Stephanie and Michelle are being brats. They're being spoiled, entitled little children because they actually printed out a Christmas list and uh, handed them to Joey, Danny and Jesse. I don't know why they handed it to Joey and da and, uh, Jesse, because they don't have any money. They don't even work. Uh, maybe their little jingle thing that they had going on, but they never really talk about it. It's only brought up in a couple of episodes. But they were being brats and they were being selfish. And then on another, uh, storyline, Danny's walking around like a mope. He's, uh, he's upset that his girlfriend Vicky, is in Sweden covering some sort of sports thing and she's not gonna make it for Christmas. So he's walking around complaining. At one point he makes this huge bowl of eggnog, which I think is disgusting. Uh, I don't care which way you dress it, eggnog is just gross. But the biggest storyline in his whole episode was the fact that Steve DJ's boyfriend was accepted into a university and no one had to pay for him to get in. You like that, like how I kind of just went back, that's a circle of black people. Uh, anyways, she's upset cuz he's gonna be moving to Florida and he is not gonna be staying there in San Francisco with her. You know, dj, uh, DJ is a huge brat in this whole episode. I, I think all the Tanner kids in here are just spoiled, entitled little because they all pout when they don't get what they want. So the next day, uh, is Christmas and they're giving gifts. She gives Steve this horrible looking leather jacket that's got a weird baseball on it when he's actually a wrestling star. Makes no sense. And just like every spouse out there, girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever, when they tell you, you didn't have to get me nothing. I thought we discussed this, it's okay that you don't get me something. That, that, that's a, that's a lie. It's a complete fabrication because they want something. It's just a test. And if you don't show up with some sort of gift on the day, your is in trouble. And that's exactly what happened. Steve was like, Hey, no, this, this leather jacket must have been expensive. I thought we talked and we weren't gonna spend that much money. And she's like, oh, it's the thought that counts. Well, when she opens up her gift, it's a freaking sweater to the university that is going to ha what a flex. Anyway, she throws a fit, she runs upstairs in front of everybody, and, uh, they have this big fight. He calls her out. I'm trying to bribe him to, uh, stay because of that jacket. And you've all seen the jacket before. If you've seen full house, you know exactly what ugly leather jacket this dude is wearing. Um, you know, she gets really upset. She throws a jacket at the door, uh, not the jacket. She throws a sweater at the door. And, uh, she's just, I don't know what's wrong with her. Well, I do know what's wrong with her and it's stupid, but it just doesn't make any sense to me. You know, the, the dude's trying to better himself and you're just upset because he's not gonna be sitting with you every second of every day eating up all your food. Which is strange because, you know, every nineties sitcom, everybody can just walk through the door at any given moment. Urkel did it. Uh, Cody did it. And step by step, you know, Kimmy's done. Kimmy's done it. Plenty of times Steve's done it. They just walk in and start eating. What bills do you pay where you can just walk in someone's house and just start going straight into the kitchen? They all do that. Look at every sitcom in the nineties. None of their doors are locked. No one cares about safety. They just walk right in. People just walk right in. Or do you remember the old times when, uh, somebody would knock on the door and one of these TV shows and they're like, oh, it's open. Get up and go. Look, it could have been a murderer walking, you know, standing at your door. Could have been some sort of home invasion and angel's like, oh, it's open. Oh, cut it out. Get outta here.<laugh>. Geez, I can't believe I just said, just like in the old days, uh, I'll see myself out pretty soon. She puts this humongous guilt trip on Steve to where the fact that he at the end tells her, Hey, you know what? I'm gonna stay in town and I'm gonna get my grades better. He wants to go to a community college. Dude, your grades were okay. You went, you got accepted into a university no matter which one it was. You got accepted into a, a university and you're like, nah, that's okay. I'm just gonna, I wanna get my grades better and stay in town with you. And then she gets all excited. She got what she wanted. That's not part of the Christmas spirit. What else is in part of the Christmas spirit? It's the fact that Jesse took, uh, Stephanie and Michelle to the shelter, to the shelter to show, to show them, hey, you know, there's some really, you know, needy people out there and you guys are just being brats. And you know what? It's selfish of them. They made it about them when they got home. They went and told Danny, Hey, we went to a shelter and we volunteered. Then Michelle's like, Hey dad, you know, I, I set out the napkins. You lazy nothing. You just put out napkins. That's it. These people wipe their mouths on their clothes all day long. You think they're gonna give a crap that you set out the napkins? Ah, these tanner kids, you know what Jesse should have took in DJ's out there too to show her that she's being just about as bratty as they are.
Speaker 6:Ah, mercy.
Speaker 1:At the end of the episode, we get a visit from three different Santa clauses. Obviously Steve is one of them to where DJ doesn't know that it's him. She makes this sort of apology and then he tells her, Hey, uh, I'm not gonna be going to the university after I'm gonna stay and be here with you. Um, you know, I wanna get my grades up. Dude, your grades were good enough to get into a university. Why are you wanting to go to to, to a community college? This is all DJ's fault. She got exactly what she wanted. She manipulated the man and that this is what we are. The second Santa Claus is Joey. Now, how can we all forget to talk about Joey? Because he never really, he's there, but he, he's trying to work out some sort of voice for Santa Claus. Weird, right? He ends up landing on doing a Daffy Duck impression showing us just why he never really has a girlfriend in any of this series at all. Good old Joey, Rocky and Bullwinkle is not gonna get him in the sack, my friend. Save some for the rest of us. The third Santa Claus turns out to be Vicky. She walks in, says, ho, ho, ho. Danny's like, oh, you look guys, it's a Santa Claus. Nobody invited once again proving that no one gives a about safety. He just let some random Santa walk into his house, let alone one, but three. Whoa. The Santa Claus starts kissing him. And he's like, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. It turns out to be Vicky. She went through some extreme length just to be here for Christmas for him. Um, the end really just shows that Jesse is the man of brownie points at the end of this episode. He somehow is able to put a snow machine in the backyard and gets Rebecca all giddy. Becky's running around saying, oh my God, just like in Nebraska. And Jesse's like, well, I was able to get a snow machine back here and, you know, I was able to do this. And I always find that weird in how they do things in their backyard because they don't have an alley. Uh, the reason I know that is because there's an episode out there where Kimmy has an ostrich and he's just feeding right over the fence. And then if you look at the front, every time they show the front of the house, there's some, there's some sort of concrete barrier right next door to their house, meaning that you cannot go through the side. But Jesse's able to ride motorcycles back there, bring a concrete truck, Danny's able to bring his old car back there. It, it just doesn't make any sense to me. But why am I trying to make sense of things the world may never know? So he's able to make snow back there and the Tanner family enjoy the snow while all of their 30 guests are just standing at the patio once again. They wanted to show each other that it's the gift of giving. But I guess they regulated everyone and told y'all like, Hey, wait a minute. Only people who live here can play in this snow, those jerks. One of my favorite things about this episode is the fact that the Christmas decorations, uh, they're just all over the place. Like, it, it, their whole house is decked out like one of the nineties malls. And if you really think about it, you know, Christmas in the nineties to me was probably like the last real decade for holidays. And I know what you're probably thinking. Oh no, it's not. But think, think long and hard about this because, you know, back when we were all kids, uh, obviously whoever's listening to this, you gotta be at least probably maybe 30 plus maybe. I don't know. Even if you're not, it's okay too. But what I remember as a kid is driving around in every neighborhood, every house was lit up with Christmas lights. There was lights all down the streets used to just drive around and look at everybody's decorations. And nowadays what one, two houses are lit up, some of those people have those weird blow up dolls in the front that are like Rudolph or Santa or Frosty. And some of'em go to the lazy length of getting a projector. That projects, oh, listen to me now, a freaking projector that projects, no kidding, right?<laugh>. Anyway, it, it just like shows the designs all over the house where you don't really have to put up lights. It's, it's ridiculous. Nobody cares about Christmas anymore. Not even the malls. The only Christmas decoration of the mall is the, the part where Santa's at and that's it. I remember going to the malls and there was ribbons all over the place and le and reefs and trees and lights and all over the, it looked magical. Christmas was magical. Now nobody cares anymore. You even thinking about TV shows, what shows out there actually have Christmas things anymore? Nothing. There's not even Christmas specials. And if there is a Christmas special, it's just something that they played when we were kids. It's a sad time we live in. If you made it this far, I really appreciate you and also, I I, I really appreciate everyone who was sending me messages, asking me if I was gonna be releasing you episodes and, and just saying some of the nicest things you don't really expect for those things to even happen. You don't even know if anybody's even going to be listening to you in the first place, let alone even enjoy some of the junk that I say. I know sometimes I can, I can rattle off a, a cuss word here and there unintentionally, but it's just what I feel at the moment. And, uh, you know, I do apologize if you're listening to this podcast out loud and I let something like that slip that's a little embarrassing. I, I understand. But I do appreciate people still listening while I took the break. You know, I I, the account that I use to distribute this podcast gave me a weekly ba a breakdown and there was still listens, a good amount of listens. Every week there are downloads and I was like, wow, people are actually still listening to this crap. So that does not go unnoticed. And I want to thank you all very much for even considering clicking on this podcast and for the sake of being old school. And you know exactly where I'm going with this. As usual, you can catch me at slash underscore vision underscore tv on Instagram. And uh, I'll see you guys next time.
Speaker 7:Save
Speaker 4:Forever.